fs

at night i sit alone

i think about my team

i share their joys and sorrows

iron bar shortcut

     there's one way to become a comedian - it's thru this poem
come         through Feltonville they'll say we didn't know him
By stood       on my porch offering touch football
half in the            shade that concrete space a place to feel tall
white sun glazed                faded Korean store Hershey's sign
on the corner with some            quarters Pepsi-Kona TV time
cola-coffee sweet like Toffey             buy a composition book
a helping hand from the owner's kid     just like me he looked
Kev in the clouds after public pool ramen        in metal bowls
lotta pepper on that oyeh two bags from the         corner store
can't swim cuz girl took a shit and didn't clean her           butt
weekdays was good morning weekends was what's up
stay together young lovers that was mom and dad
her crying on a blue stoop never saw anyone that sad
and when I go back I get the feeling that I've never left
realize worse things in this life and the next to accept

e. loudon (for mei)

        Mei

beautiful    as this country
that bears yr name

took a ride with me on the blvd
from C st to Holme Ave
to find three nail guns in my father's garage

when the old neighbors died
eldest aunt bought the place
rife with americana

 in the basement Smith-Coronas
multiple plaques from Adams Lanes
two Super 8's in their case, a juke

I was there to help my father
stucco Mary's second story
then got her life story

she was from Yugoslavia
stuffed a grocery bag of peppers
                                from her garden

into my arms
and kissed me
rapidly

zato-itchy

my god am i itchy
an itchy boy
can't itch it
beb sez cuz
that's how she sez it
i say it's scratch not itch
you don't itch an itch
you scratch it
though i can't scratch it
just gotta write it

aspects of the pulse

The pulse should be taken
at the calm dawn
when the yin energy
has yet to stir
and the yang energy
has yet to disperse
food and drink have
yet to be taken
and the vessel channels are
not yet overly active
whether the five depots
are in surplus or deficient
whether the six palaces
are strong or weak
outside hammer on wood
man murmurs to man
dog yelps to dog
bird chirps to bird
the gray sky is blinding
observing silently
the essence-brilliance
I am overflowing
with the urge to leave
a little legacy


                              (huangdi neijing / yellow emperor's inner canon)

ah!

" you women --
who loved me for that small, hesitating
love for you I always veered from,
because I felt the realm in your faces "

ah! you wrote to me at such a time,

it finally became October, the month

which marks all the important birthdays to come

thank you for this gift

the changing of the season opportune

to ponder what could be, to reminisce 

a time to reflect

on my own thirst for being desired

and that knowledge of being desired is enough

end of summer

if you cast that lure, what'll you get?
i was on the line, of course, a hound
the crushed lime in yr drink
but you'll fail, they always fail, she said

when i stopped at the recently trimmed hedge
i threw myself in it, caressing it all over
having a sudden bad idea, i was so caught
up in all senses, its rough pliability,

yr fragrance, and that of the foliage
seeing a man out of the corner of my eye
where no one should be, and turning
that eye onto ourselves

i realized i had no belonging here
and so having left myself bare
in the cool dark morning that ended summer
i allowed others to find my way home

his story of the blues (L.H.)

O the sun is so hot
and the day is so doggone long
Yes the sun is so hot
and the day is so doggone long
and that's the reason
I'm singin' this doggone song

mortally wounded

mom
what does
mortally
wounded
mean?
it means you
have a
wound you
will die
from

separation

separation
is natural
shake well

in henri rousseau's dream

in henri rousseau's dream
the wad of cloth between
your legs become too much
you pull and pull at it
your palms explode into wildflowers
your hair is still your hair
and all the world is
         is

bronze

bronze body

among black bodies

i'm older now 

so put a lot of ice in it

mediation water 

can talk to ya

the big bearded duh

talks to ya

this final fantasy

talks to ya

i get in a car 

and already it's too far

get the fuck out quick 

at least wear the seatbelt
while texting

i saw roger rabbit 

twice on WB17

i'm glad i came 

despite the rain

in a dream that night 

i blessed a man

he smiled at me

now imbued

with the courage to do 

what he needs to do

fyl

a philosophical zombie
what's so heavy about it
i have no answer
let alone an approach

monkey

real dim mak
the five ways of attack
this is how you don't play
one piece pirate warriors
how to survive in strange ways
and the old days
how to overcome
your own fear in fighting
this is something
called a soulsong
this is shinichi atobe's
butterfly effect in motion
or how to defend
against a dog attack
there are wild dogs
in the vietnamese countryside
my sister was bitten
by a monkey in the city
i will come when i wake
this is eight traits
of successful people
or why should you
trust unanimous decisions
i read that i'm not using
the internet on the internet
but that the internet is
using me using me
i have the history of tattoos
just below the surface
uncle's five dots in a cross
father's eagle  over his heart
that reminds me
of the philadelphia eagle
same eagle on the sweatshirt
i wore to my first reading
that i got at salvation army
the one that collapsed at 21st & Market
they say that building inspector
committed suicide but
i had doubts

vh

disenfrenchfried people
drape the lamp with my blanket
everybody now wants a banh mi
i still call it a viet hoagie

ai

those older than i say

an active imagination

wrapped in fleece,

 trying to discover unconscious roots

anxiety away

i want just the image of a tree, not the real

slapping the keyboard, i throw my head back

just a sixteen year old

and a christian eon

toward future fatty opposite

steep my body in the yellow of yr room   

knowing love,  lasting heat,
illuminates

body

You are invited to sit and
talk with an acquaintance.
She's also an Asian poet
and of some renown. You
both decide on a shady
bench in a most public
area. Midway she asserts
that she isn't interested in
any sexual relationship.
You give face and accept
her rejection of your body.
Not knowing what it was
you said or indicated with
your body. Walking Walnut,
you want to laugh but you don't.

within a word

'Responsibilities' was the new word
I put my hand out for her
she held a baby carrot
I thought of her young
black childhood. I squeaked
onto the wall, 'Sensibilities'.
She told me that was the kind
of snack she got as a kid, no sweets
we finally got to shake
hands at the end of the day
I said my goodbyes, descend
twenty-seven floors in the time
it takes to adjust my pant cuffs
walk out onto Market St
with brisk spring energy

ping

 ask yrself

why you're here
in someone else's

promised land
wrinkled brown eyes dip

to the flourescence
  my thigh

touching yours
on the bus

42 minutes stood up
gym bag and all

no matter how
much money

this man is screaming
 for 20 cents

all he wants
is 20 cents

and nobody'll give
 it to him, not like that

not that sound
 of sarcastic desperation

red wool skirt

frantic arrows to my head
hard worrisome dick

i'm not in search of anything
something to practice

humble kid in 04 infiniti g35
(not his) just here for the reading

in calcium he purchases
the morning fraught with incense

tea by plant most'll think dead
it just needs some sun again

taking simple pleasure in wind, light,
and body that feed us

exclusive

watch dark souls 3 early footage
smoke from hello kitty bowl
tip well on house red who wouldn't
beautiful people beautiful bartender
bartender who works on poetry nights
listeners who work on their posture
poets who sweep back their hair
lovers who look past themselves
i look past the streetlamp to the moon
what does it mean to be unkindled
tomorrow i will return to work

in prog

i came back into the world like

latino chokes out white beard hero

siciliane beside bed remind me: pakistani hash

by way of fresh slices each night

which is nothing like what we got back home

back home my pronouns are wrong

lill is 65 and works 40 hour weeks 

at the church of scientology for $3.50 an hour

jill is 63 and works in a law office

she defaulted on her student loans

i read her letters from the collections agency

skipped lunch to spend 30 minutes in the bathroom stall

trifold

after dinner
monkeyed with her puzzle
going through some length

after several minutes
edges curled into petals
overshot the moon

in military sun time
dad said don't
join the army so i didn't

ril-key

I palmed my
  red fleece dress
  the speck of
  an island

some Evening played
enjoying a higher standard
of living that I stopped
pondering

a heavy idea
she left me
a book of elegies
before bed

dilly dally

January is nearly over and I'm dilly dallyin'
This is no year to dilly dally, I've seen the dying
electronic blue eyes scoff at diamonds
get a day's work done

slept in the shade of ignorance
I first learned of angels on Wyoming
got my mum's sig to see Olivia Hussey
in Zefirelli's Romeo & Juliet

drew on my skin, drew off yours
popped yolks, spun tops,
the yard in flip flops
demanding labor

thankfulness

can't put all that on the past
push it, step off
                            ( softly,
                               like in wuxia )

I'm heart heavy right now
actually feel it with my hand

in a mind of mine again
where I can!

knowing whom
thankfulness goes to

mum's stew
mum's beef stew

lemme lone

these last years come in a hunt
in smaller increments of thought
put down as some fall short
 of impressed i've been behind
the yellow line the whole time
with my right foot swinging
and my left foot rooted
ah i don't give a shit really
y'know you wake up and you're
slipping into snug fabrics to warm
yr genitals and wonder what the temp
is gonna be and the device says 20
but the real feel is negative 3?
i hush my voice and tilt my eyeballs
upwards in that jack nicholson fashion
to say i want that real feel outta you
now get me the hell outta this maze!